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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485588">A Good Person</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStageManager/pseuds/TheStageManager'>TheStageManager</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson &amp; Dave Wolverton, Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aftermath of Torture, Cal Kestis Needs a Hug, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Nightmares, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi has abandonment issues, Obi-Wan Kenobi is depressed, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Panic Attacks, Poor Obi-Wan Kenobi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, no beta we die like men</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:40:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485588</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStageManager/pseuds/TheStageManager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of his abandonment on Melinda/Daan and subsequent three weeks of torture on Sojourn, Obi-Wan struggles to deal with his trauma and resulting emotional upheaval. Luckily, his master is there to pick up the pieces and assure him that, yes, he is worth loving. </p><p>This work is based on the "There (and back again?)" AU created by beamirang. I HIGHLY recommend reading Edges and Galaxy Eighty-Six (both by beamirang) before reading this story.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CC-2224 | Cody &amp; Cal Kestis, CC-2224 | Cody &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Cal Kestis, Obi-Wan Kenobi &amp; Qui-Gon Jinn (mentioned)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>521</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Good Person</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts"></a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22578790">Galaxy Eighty Six</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account">orphan_account</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This work is based on the "There (and back again?)" AU created by beamirang. I HIGHLY recommend reading Edges and Galaxy Eighty-Six (both by beamirang) before reading this story. They're both absolutely amazing reads, I cannot praise them enough. </p><p>If you're here only for the tooth-rotting fluff and the comfort that God knows that poor Obi-Wan needs, the TL;DR is: Commander Cody and Cal Kestis came back in time to the middle of the Melinda/Daan incident. When they return back to Coruscant, the Council assigns Cal as his new master, instead of Qui-Gon (which is probably a good move. Qui-Gon's an emotionally constipated mess.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Obi-Wan Kenobi knows his master is disappointed. It isn’t hard to tell. Cal’s shoulders are tight and bunched, more than they used to be. He sighs a lot lately, and he pinches his nose and shakes his head. Obi-Wan knows this gesture well. It’s a universal gesture of disappointment, of frustration.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan Kenobi knows his master is disappointed and it isn’t hard to understand why: Obi-Wan Kenobi <em>is </em>a disappointment. This is obvious. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t seem to get anything right. He’s too angry, too arrogant, too <em>passionate</em>—and those are all qualities that Jedi don’t possess. Only Sith feel those sorts of things. Only people who are bad. But Obi-Wan doesn’t want to be a bad person, he wants to be a good person. He wants to protect people. He sees them suffering and he wants to <em>help</em>, to make them feel better. Sometimes, that desire to help, to alleviate pain is so strong that it hurts and he has to act, he has to do something. So he does. And then, he gets in trouble. And people leave him behind.</p><p> </p><p>Like when Master Qui- Master Jinn left him behind on Melinda/Daan.</p><p> </p><p>(And Obi-Wan knows he shouldn’t be upset about it. Master Jinn had ever right to abandon him. He betrayed the Order, after all. But sometimes, he closes his eyes and all he can see is his former Master’s retreating back, and he feels as if a snake made of molten iron is coiling around his stomach and the pain is so unbearable, he almost wants to scream.)</p><p> </p><p>It takes Obi-Wan a long time to figure out the problem, but eventually it clicks. Helping people is something good people do. But that Thing he feels, that Driving Force, that Intensity behind his desires to help—that’s called Passion. And Jedi don’t feel passion. And Obi-Wan doesn’t know what to do about it, how to fix it. He can’t just not help people, because that’s what Jedi do—they help. Good people help. And he wants to be a good person. But when he helps, he gives into his passion and that makes him a bad person.</p><p> </p><p>(That’s why Master Jinn abandoned him on Melinda/Daan.)</p><p> </p><p>After returning from Sojourn, Obi-Wan, Cal, and Cody are placed on an <em>extensive </em>medical leave. With amble time to meditate (and ample time to actively refuse acknowledging any of the trauma he’d suffered on Sojourn, Melinda/Daan and Bandomeer) he reaches a conclusion (or, perhaps, he'd known it all along and is just now starting to accept it): He is, himself, a bad person, not because of what he does (helping people is, after all, a <em>good </em>thing.) He is a bad person because that’s who he is. It’s something internal. <em>That’s </em>why everything he does is wrong. That’s why nobody wants him.</p><p> </p><p>And the instant he realizes this, he feels a surging sense of pride. Because finally, finally, he’s figured it out. He has an <em>answer </em>that explains everything. It explains why nobody to train him, why Master Jinn refused him so many times; why Jinn abandoned him on Melinda/Daan; why the Council passed him off to Cal; why Cal let him suffer, tortured for three weeks-</p><p> </p><p>No- don’t. Don’t do that. That wasn’t Cal’s fault.  </p><p> </p><p>(Obi-Wan is so quick to blame someone else for his own mistakes, surely, it's proof that he is, at his core, a bad person.)</p><p> </p><p>However, the pride fades quickly as reality sets in. If <em>he </em>is the problem, if it's simply in his nature, then there's nothing he can do about it. He can't change it. And eventually, both Cal and Cody will see how bad he really is, on the inside, and they’ll leave him, too. It's only a matter of time.</p><p> </p><p>So, in the following weeks, Obi-Wan get very good at obeying all the rules. It's a ruse, a sham, a lie (and part of him feels horrible, twisted up about it) but the only way to get them both to stay, is to convince them he is the best Padawan ever. The Perfect Jedi.</p><p> </p><p>And it goes rather well, at first. He gets high marks in classes, he doesn't let himself get upset or angry or think about the torture or the abandonment, he doesn't let his fear creep through his side of the bond, he works very hard (rigidly so) about obeying <em>all </em>of the rules and doing everything right the <em>first </em>time. But then, things start to fall apart.</p><p> </p><p>It starts with Cal- Master Cal (Obi-Wan really ought to be more respectful.) Master Cal starts watching Obi-Wan more intensely, scrutinizing him, looking for weakness, for flaws. Then Cody starts asking questions, trying to trip him up: “Are you okay?” “Is there anything you want to talk about?” “How are you feeling?” “Did you get any sleep last night? Do you want to stay home?”</p><p> </p><p>Then the exhaustion starts creeping in. It becomes difficult to focus. Food and games and sparring become unappealing. All Obi-Wan wants to do is sleep. It becomes more and more obvious that he can't hide anything from his master and from Cody. They know something was wrong with him. It's only a matter of time before they find out who he really is and leave him behind or send him back to Bandomeer or Sojourn.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, he probably deserves to go back to Sojourn; he can't do anything right anyways. </p><p> </p><p>Another week and a half passes and Obi-Wan’s attitude completely switches as resignation creeps in. He starts failing assignments, stops listening in class, shuts down his side of the bond. He just wants to be left alone. The rejection is coming, and Obi-Wan knows this. And Obi-Wan is very clever. If he doesn't let anybody in, if he closes off, it's going to hurt less. So he does. And Cal’s disappointment keeps growing. It's only a matter of time before hes alone again.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan lays in bed, staring up at the ceiling, decidedly <em>not </em>thinking about Sojourn and the Sith and the pain and Master Cal getting stabbed and Cody nearly dying. No, instead, Obi-Wan thinks about Bandomeer (well, parts of Bandomeer. He wasn’t thinking about Master Jinn. Or not being a Jedi. Or having an explosive slave collar tightly latched around his throat…) He thinks about farming. It would be nice to be a farmer, he decides. He likes plants, anyways.  He closes his eyes and imagines what it would be like to be out in the warm sun all day, fingers and toes buried in the cool soil. He imagines digging a little hole in the earth. He twists over to the side and retrieves a little potted vegetable, its new, baby green leaves happily waving in the cool, gentle breeze. He frees it from its pot, mindful of the roots, and slots it into the hole, gently pushing the soil back around it. Happily, he digs another hole. Except he something odd: fingers, attached to a hand, buried in the dirt.</p><p> </p><p>Somebody taps him on the shoulder. He turns around, smiling, because he likes it here! The person behind him is the Master of the Garden. She points to the hand, frowning, and Obi-Wan turns back around. He gasps. The hand is no longer buried. The hand is resting on top of the dirt, crushing the new baby plant, and it’s attached to a body- Master Cal’s body- Master Cal is dead! He’s been stabbed! His blood is leaking into the soil and Obi-Wan turns around, panicked, desperate for help, but the Master of the Garden isn’t there anymore. It’s the Sith! The Sith is behind him! And he’s holding a knife, he’s going to hurt Obi-Wan, he’s going to torture him, he’s going to-</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan sits up, gasping, a scream trapped in his throat, sticky tears dribbling down his cheeks. He’s in his bed, safe, in the Temple. He’d accidentally fallen asleep. It was only a dream.</p><p> </p><p>But his heart is still hammering. He can’t get that image of Master Cal, dead, stabbed, out of his head. It doesn’t go away. Obi-Wan is frightened. He knows he shouldn’t be afraid (fear is bad. Fear leads to anger, leads to hate, leads to suffering) but Obi-Wan <em>is suffering right now </em>and the panic is so bad that his chest is tight, he can’t think straight, he can’t breathe, and he accidentally forgets that he’s supposed to be trying to be a <em>good person. </em>In his moment of weakness, he decides: Kriff it. He just wants to make sure that Cal is still alive (that’s how he justifies it, his rational brain sounds distantly). More than anything, he just wants to feel safe again. To hell with it all, Master Cal may abandon him tomorrow, but tomorrow won’t be here for a couple of hours and Obi-Wan wants to feel better <em>now. </em>Even if it’s only for a moment. So, without really thinking, he sucks in a deep breath, slides off his bed, and <em>runs </em>into Cal’s room.</p><p> </p><p>Cal is, of course, still alive. He looks peaceful, like he’s dreaming about something happy.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan shouldn’t wake him up. That would be <em>bad. </em>He’s not in the creche anymore, he ought to be able to deal with his emotions by himself. That’s what a <em>good </em>Jedi would do.</p><p> </p><p>But Obi-Wan isn’t a good Jedi. Not really. He isn’t even really a good person. He is a bad person. So, sniffling miserably, sucking in ragged breaths through his teeth, he puts his hands on his master’s arm and shakes him awake.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The weeks following Sojourn were hard on everyone. Cal was, of course, no exception to this rule. However, out of the three of them (them being Cody, Obi-Wan, and himself) he seemed to be the quickest to adjust back to normal Temple life. After all, Obi-Wan was back home, safe and sound, and Cody was recovering well. Everything was good. Everything was okay.</p><p> </p><p>Except, Obi-Wan wouldn’t talk about the trauma. Which was fine, Cal knew he needed time, but Obi-Wan’s behavior was starting to become concerning. He spent the first two weeks, back at the Temple, acting as if nothing was wrong, as if he hadn’t just spent the last month locked away in a Sith dungeon, being mercilessly tortured for sport. He was completely normal, which Cal found odd, but didn’t press.</p><p> </p><p>It was Commander Cody who began pointing out some of Obi-Wan’s new, odd ticks: he washed his hands almost compulsively; he changed his robes <em>immediately </em>if they got stained; he started bathing twice a day and, sometimes, three times a day. He was demonstrating a clear aversion to being dirty, which made sense to Cal: being trapped in a dirty dungeon for three weeks would make anyone hypersensitive to grime.</p><p> </p><p>“But it’s more than that,” Cody told him, one day. “Look at him. It’s like he can’t stand the idea of <em>not </em>being clean,”</p><p> </p><p>So, Cal looked at, it was true. Obi-Wan groomed himself as if he felt he’d never be clean again. He’d go to the fresher to wash his hands, come out, pause, then go back in and wash his hands again, just to make sure.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think… do you think they did something to him? To make him feel… unclean?” Cal asked, halting around the words because, Force-dammit, he <em>loved </em>his Padawan. Obi-Wan was the best kid in the whole galaxy, hell, the whole <em>universe</em>, and the ideas bouncing around Cal’s head as to what might’ve happened to his Padawan on Sojourn, made him sick.</p><p> </p><p>“Unclean?” Cody echoed, and Cal could see the concern written all across the clone’s face. “Like… raped him? No, I don’t think they raped him,” Cody said, almost too quickly and Cal could tell the idea of it made the soldier’s stomach churn, too. “No, what I meant was, I think being dirty reminds him of being back on Sojourn. He can’t stand remembering, so he cleans himself compulsively. It’s an avoidance tactic, a classic symptom of Post Traumatic Stress,”</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, more symptoms started manifesting. The kid woke up, screaming from nightmares but refused to talk about them. He avoided the Halls of Healing like the plague. Large crowds made him nervous, he flinched away (violently) from physical contact, he had full blown panic attacks when things touch his neck. Once, he nearly maimed Bant while they were sparing (he’d flashed back to Sojourn and thought she was a Sun-Guard.)</p><p> </p><p>Cal didn’t know how to help. Things were starting to spiral and Obi-Wan wouldn’t open up. Then, one day, Obi-Wan woke up and it was as if someone had flipped a switch. He was smiling and polite and had, seemingly, gained miraculous control over his triggers. He no longer flinched from physical contact, he stopped having panic attacks, he worked very, very hard on his assignments—he was the perfect Jedi.</p><p> </p><p>And it was horrible. Because Cal <em>knew </em>what Obi-Wan was doing. He hadn’t processed his feelings at all, he’d only stuffed them away. And there was nothing Cal could do. He couldn’t force Obi-Wan to open up. He couldn’t force his Padawan to talk.</p><p> </p><p>The days stretched on, Obi-Wan only seemed to drift further and further away. Cal watched as Obi-Wan seemed to give up entirely, and withdraw. It broke his heart.</p><p> </p><p>“Cody, what are we supposed to do?” Cal demanded, sitting hopelessly on a bench outside.</p><p> </p><p>“We wait,” Cody said and Cal had the sudden impulse to absolutely wring his neck. What kind of answer was that?</p><p> </p><p>“Wait for what? Cody, look at him. He’s drowning. We’re losing him. <em>I’m </em>losing him,” Cal said, fighting against the tears that inexplicably sprang to his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You won’t lose him, <em>ad’ika</em>,” Cody assured, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Obi-Wan is strong,” he said, and Cal could hear the pride in his voice. Cody always sounded proud when he spoke about his general. “He’ll come through. But we have to be patient. We can’t force him to open up. I… I’d see it all the time with the <em>vode. </em>One of them shuts down, the others try to help, try to pry it out of him, and he just withdraws further. Give him <em>time,” </em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Cal clenched his jaw and stared at the ground for a moment, thinking hard. But eventually, his face went slack, and he sighed. His head rolled back and he closed his eyes, face tipped up towards the sun. “I know. You’re right. You’re always right, you bastard,” he said and Cody only snorted.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Cal was having the <em>strangest </em>dream. Obi-Wan was there, Cody too. They were outside of the Temple, eating lunch. Cal heard a voice calling his name. He turned around to see his master, Master Jaro, standing in the Temple doors, looking at him in pride. Cal smiled. It was a good dream. It was a happy dream. It had been a long time since Cal had had happy dreams. But it was, as all dreams are, fleeting.</p><p> </p><p>There was a pressure on his arm, a shaking, and the image faded. Cal reached out, not ready to let it go, but it was already gone. His room was dark and warm. Somebody had their hands on his shoulder. Somebody was panting. Somebody was in pain.</p><p> </p><p>Cal’s eyes snapped open and he watched as Obi-Wan take a reluctant step back. He panting, dragging in short, ragged breaths. His mouth hung open, his eyes wide and full of fear and pain. One hand clutched at his chest, the other still clung onto Cal’s sleeve. For a moment, Cal was too shocked to move. This was so, so very strange. Obi-Wan had woken him up with nightmares before (usually by screaming, caught up in their throes) but had always, consistently, and adamantly rejected comfort. Obi-Wan was such a strong, independent young man. To see him standing at the side of Cal’s bed, shaking and panting, was truly out of place. For one, long, painful moment, Cal wasn’t sure what to do.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan stepped back further, recoiling, opening his mouth to speak (likely to apologize and then flee, Cal realized regretfully) but no sound came out. He was hyperventilating, breath coming in to fast to allow for speech.</p><p> </p><p>A panic attack. He was having a panic attack.</p><p> </p><p>That snapped Cal out of his stupor. It wasn’t the first his padawan had had since returning from that Sith-ridden, Force-forsaken hellhole, and it likely wouldn’t be the last. But usually… usually it was Cody who helped Obi-Wan through them. Cody knew what to do. But Cody wasn't there. </p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan was gasping like a fish, swaying ever so slightly like he was about to pass out, and Cal would be damned if he didn’t do <em>something</em>, so he did what any good master would do: he comforted his Padawan.</p><p> </p><p>Sliding out of bed, the lanky, ginger Jedi knelt on the floor and reached out towards the trembling, gasping padawan as he pressed himself against the wall and curled in on himself. “Obi-Wan, come here. It’s alright, I’ll protect you,” Cal assured gently.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan, who was, perhaps, more starved of affection and comfort than Cal had realized, or could ever possibly understand, slowly uncurled himself and practically flung himself into his new master’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay, I’m here. I’m right here. You’re safe. I’ll keep you safe,” Cal said, halfway between assurance and praise. In response, Obi-Wan only trembled and gasped helplessly, mouth open, like a fish. Cal felt his small fingers digging into the loose fabric of his sleep clothes. Obi-Wan was trying to ground himself, as any good Jedi would, Cal realized with a swell of pride.</p><p> </p><p>“Take a deep breath, little one, you’re going to pass out,” Cal encouraged, holding his apprentice a little tighter and running a hand down his back.</p><p> </p><p><em>Little one</em>? That made him sound so old and wise, two things which Cal was decidedly <em>not</em>. Still, it seemed to do the trick. Obi-Wan practically melted against Cal, drawing in a slow, halting gasp. It sounded painful. It probably was.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s it. I’ve got you. Once more,” he encouraged and the smaller, ginger apprentice nodded curtly as he drew in another breath with a painful wheeze. Cal could feel Obi-Wan’s heart racing. It made his own heart ache sympathetically.</p><p> </p><p>Slowly, Obi-Wan gained control of his breathing. When, at last, he was able to regulate his breathing, he burst into tears. Cal could only imagine what he must be feeling, and pushed a wave of understanding and compassion into the bond—Obi-Wan was practically radiating shame at the loss of control of his emotions.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’re safe here,” Cal assured. “It’s okay to be sad, it’s okay to be upset, and hurting. You’ve been through hell, kid,”</p><p> </p><p>Cal winced. That came out sounding a little too much like Cody for his liking. Still, once again, it seemed to do the trick. He felt as Obi-Wan loosened the tight hold on his emotions as his end of their bond began to open up. Emotion, pain, fear, sorrow, hurt, memories- horrible, horrible memories all washed through the bond as the dam broke. For a moment, Cal’s hold on Obi-Wan slackened, the wave of <em>everything </em>was so shocking.</p><p> </p><p>He felt as Obi-Wan immediately recoiled, trying to gather up his feelings and emotions and push them back, trying to close up his end of the bond. Cal’s hold tightened again and, once he worked through his stupor, he sent out another wave of comfort, of understanding. “No, it’s okay. It’s alright. I understand, you’re safe with me,” Cal said. “You’ve been… you’ve been hurting for a long time, right? Even before… before all of this,” Cal said tactlessly and winced. He could, distantly, understand where Qui-Gon Jinn had gone wrong. Feelings, raw feelings, were scary and comforting people was hard.</p><p> </p><p>Cal didn’t know what he was supposed to say. He didn’t know what the <em>right </em>thing was. However, he knew was he, himself, would’ve wanted to hear when he was alone and suffering after the aftermath of Order 66.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve been alone for a long time, haven’t you? I was… I was alone, too. Really alone, for a long time,” Cal began, his voice tight with emotion. “I understand how hard that is. How- how painful it is,”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan’s hold tightened and he pressed his face against Cal’s shoulder. His small, battered body tensed. “I… I don’t understand what’s wrong with me,” Obi-Wan said at last and Cal was so relieved he almost laughed. Finally, finally, Obi-Wan was talking.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re not- there’s nothing wrong with you,” Cal stammered, arms tightening around his apprentice as if he were afraid if he let go, Obi-Wan might disappear.</p><p> </p><p>This was, apparently, the wrong response. Obi-Wan’s body tensed again and Cal felt anger flare up in the bond. The padawan pushed himself away from his master furiously, and stumbled backwards. “Then why doesn’t anybody want me?!” Obi-Wan shouted, his face turning red and his fists shaking. Tears crept down his flushed cheeks and he stomped his foot childishly on the ground.</p><p> </p><p>For one fleeting moment, Cal pictured Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, High General of the Republic Army, throwing this sort of tantrum.</p><p> </p><p>It was funny at first. Except, that Obi-Wan never got the chance to let himself acknowledge his own hurt. That Obi-Wan had learned that anything less than Perfection was a just cause for rejection and abandonment. Distantly, he wondered if <em>that </em>Obi-Wan had spent three weeks being tortured, too. He wondered if, when he was rescued, instead of comfort, <em>that </em>Obi-Wan received a firm scolding because Qui-Gon Jinn had no idea how to be vulnerable enough to <em>comfort a hurting child. </em></p><p> </p><p>“I want you,” Cal said softly, his arms outstretched.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan’s eyes widened and his breathing caught in his throat. The anger died instantly and Cal felt bewilderment take its place. He reached down the Bond, tentatively probing at Obi-Wan’s shielding.</p><p> </p><p><em>Why are you so surprised? </em>Cal asked.</p><p> </p><p><em>Because nothing about me is worth wanting. </em>Was Obi-Wan’s response, his eyes wide and avidly avoiding Cal’s.</p><p> </p><p><em>That </em>was a feeling Cal knew and understood more than words could express. But Obi-Wan was far too young, and too pure, and too <em>good </em>to feel such things. And that made Cal’s heart <em>ache. </em>Here was one of the sweetest, kindest, bravest boys the universe had ever known, abandoned and rejected and <em>alone </em>because nobody ever bothered to understand why he behaved the way he did; why he offered to sacrifice his life on Bandomeer; why he let them put a Force-suppressing collar on him and ship him out to Sojourn; why he left the Order to stay with the Young and Melinda/Daan.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Because he wanted to help people. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Because Obi-Wan Kenobi was a good person, at his very core. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Not just good, the very best. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“I want you. Obi-Wan Kenobi, I want you as my Padawan. I can find so many things about you worth wanting and worth loving,” Cal said, his arms still outstretched.</p><p> </p><p>He watched as tears filled Obi-Wans eyes. “There are so many people that love you, Obi-Wan. Me, Cody, Yoda, Bant, even Master Jinn. I know you had a rough time with him, but he <em>does </em>want you, and he cares for you a great deal, he just doesn’t know how to show it,”</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes and sucked in a sharp breath, once again trying to ground himself. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.</p><p> </p><p>“I know. And it’s alright. I don’t mind. You’ve been through something hard and painful. You’re hurting. It doesn’t make you a bad person. It’s alright if you don’t have control over everything right now. You’re still healing and you’re still learning and… and I’ll learn with you. I’ll heal with you. Just…” Cal swallowed thickly. “Please don’t shut me out, Obi-Wan. Me and Cody, we want to help, but we can’t do that if you don’t let us. Let us help you through this,” he requested and Obi-Wan hesitated, staring at the floor. Then, he scrubbed at his eyes once more. His breathing hitched and he nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay,” he whispered. “I’m sorry,” He was pressing at his eyes again, looking torn between moving closer and running away. He chose the former, taking a couple timid steps forward before flinging himself into Cal’s arms.</p><p> </p><p>Cal inhaled sharply, happy and relieved, and exhausted, and feeling about ready to cry. He held his padawan tight. “It’s okay. It’s alright. I forgive you. All is forgiven, everything’s okay. It’s okay now. It’s okay,” he said shakily and closed his eyes. “You’re safe here. You’re safe.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>There is a young Jedi padawan who is curled up in the arms of his new master but can’t seem to bring himself to sleep. His eyes are heavy and want to fall, but he won’t let them. He’s too content, too warm, too safe. He doesn’t want to sleep, not just yet. He wants to take this moment and relish in it. He feels childish, of course, sleeping in the arms of his master like a crecheling. He feels he ought to be embarrassed about it, but he isn’t.</p><p> </p><p>All Obi-Wan had wanted, for so very long, was to feel safe and loved and wanted. There’s still a heavy amount of uncertainty lingering in the young man but, for now, he at least has confirmation that Master Cal <em>does </em>want him.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan Kenobi is wanted.</p><p> </p><p>Obi-Wan is loved.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a shadow cast on the back wall that looks, for a moment, almost like the Sith who’d tortured him. But Obi-Wan isn’t afraid. Obi-Wan doesn’t need to be afraid. His master will protect him, and Cody will too.</p><p> </p><p>He thinks, dreamily, as he gives in to the urge to sleep, that maybe he isn’t such a bad person after all. He pressed his face against Cal’s shoulder and lets himself smile, drifting off to a safe, sound slumber.</p>
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